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 You Can't Please Everyone

This could be featured under Fun Stuff, but maybe not.


 

Because trying to please everyone might not be fun at all. And let's face it: usually it Can't be done at all! 

The glib conclusion to this dilemma might be to simply please yourself. Now that might be permissible in certain situations, but not always.

A man I know has great musical talent, and at one point he led the praise and worship at his church. In no time at all he came in for a barrage of criticism. The older people wanted more traditional songs, the younger ones expressed a wish for more of the music of contemporary Christian artists, and others thought the music leaned too much toward meditative and there wasn't enough praise time. He listened to each suggestion, and adjusted the music to attempt to incorporate favorites to appeal to everyone. Of course he couldn't. There were still negative comments; albeit positive ones, too. In the end he had to follow his own heart in the matter, but there were alterations after all of the input.

Sometimes the only person you have to adjust your own personal wishes for are the people who live with you. Do you ever watch the home improvement or home buying programs? We watch two. The trends now are toward open concepts, large kitchens, abstract art, simple lines. Great improvements in building materials mean better insulation, greater comfort, more choices.. But there's still a lot of room for personal taste. I find some of the current styles lacking in warmth and that cozy, homey, atmosphere. Usually my husband agrees with me - but not always. In our home we've both had to make a few compromises for the desires of the other, plus there were financial considerations. How other people feel doesn't come into it, unless I'm undecided and want an outside opinion. They don't live here. It's nice to receive compliments, but not essential to personal decisions.

Have you never chosen your wardrobe or your hairstyle to please other people? (Let's limit that to our adulthood! I can't imagine that any of us as teenagers didn't bow to peer pressure or current style at some point, even if we had an independent streak in us.) Are you like me, now that you are 'older', that function and comfort play a major role here? Yes, appearance does matter, especially in the public arena, but not so much I'm going to teeter around on high heels. Did I mention safety as a component?

I do want to please guests with the menu chosen for dinner, my husband with his Christmas gift, my neighbors with considerate behavior, my friends with honest response, a listening ear, and a compassionate heart. 

In political choices there's no way to please everyone! 

In the adult world, one delicious freedom is reading anything I choose to. But my choices answer to my conscience, and the author of it.

Who, in all things, do we want to please most of all? Who is our standard? 


 


 

Comments

  1. The answers are easy for Christians: Whom do I most want to please? God. Who is my standard? Christ. But living up to that is not so easy, as we all know. I give thanks for the wisdom that comes with age, that frees me from the childish desire to seek approval from others. I so don't care what styles are fashionable, much less trendy. I care what suits me: My figure, my personality, my activities, my own taste. And probably in that order.

    I had a similar experience to the church musician's, when I was leading water aerobics classes. The music needed to have a strong beat and, for most of the class, a fairly quick tempo. I played a variety of music, but every day half of the senior wellness classes complained that they didn't like this song or that, this genre or that. I mixed up a variety of big band classics with country and western and some general pop music, so no one had a whole class of anything. Didn't matter. They complained.

    In contrast, the classes for people with certain health conditions (arthritis, cancer, heart disease, pre- and post-natal) NEVER generated complaints about the music, except for one woman in one heart class who complained so much we all knew her lifestyle was the primary cause of her heart disease. I much preferred leading classes for people with real problems, because they were generally far too grateful to complain about trivial things.

    I learned a lot from both types of classes, about which kind of person I want to be.

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    Replies
    1. You always have interesting personal experiences and thoughts to share; thank you so much for that.
      As we learn this lesson, we learn about ourselves too - like so much life teaches us. I must say I've known a couple of people who don't give a fig about pleasing anybody else or what they think, and there are times I envy them!

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  2. Having too many masters is exhausting. Ultimately, only One is needed.

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  3. I will just add, on the subject of wide open house plans, I read that architects who were absolutely committed to this design have been rethinking the concept since they and their own families were locked down and struggling to work from home and participate in online schooling. Walls, and doors, look a lot more appealing when everyone is searching for quiet spaces.

    Also, those whose families are actually using their kitchens for the first time have realized that function is at least as important as form and that dirty dishes, as well as some aspects of food preparation, are not especially attractive.

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    Replies
    1. Now that is a side comment to the subject of this post that interests me. It is almost certain I won't be house hunting for anywhere again where the choice will come up, BUT....
      Observing these programs, my personal conclusion is that semi-open is the way to go. People do tend to gravitate toward the kitchen when they are guests; that happens here all the time. And it is nice to be able to visit and finish up the meal prep. But some of the drawbacks of everything open have occurred to me too.
      What I can't understand is how a child has a large bedroom to themselves, and still needs a separate playroom. Really? You can't let your sibling or your friend hang out with you in
      your bedroom?? A hard thing to grasp when you shared a bedroom with your sister all of your growing up years.

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    2. I had my own room except as a very small child, when my brother shared with me, but it was also my play space...when we weren't outdoors.

      I do like being able to be in the kitchen but aware of guests, but I do not like serving dinner in full view of dirty pots and pans. I end up planning menus where much of the meal can be cooked or at least prepped before guests arrive, so I can wash and put away as much as possible. Like turning mashed potatoes into a casserole dish and putting it in the oven, with butter on top to brown. Starchy pot and lid washed, dried and put away before the first guest rings the bell.

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