Fun Stuff
Awkward Situations....
Like reviewing the books of authors who ask you to....
In 2010 when I published The Death of Amelia Marsh and The Disappearance of Douglas White in e-book format with Elderberry Press, it opened a whole new world to me. I had to learn to navigate the web, find book sites, and start getting exposure for my mystery series. To get the word out and obtain reviews, one of the options available was offering free books in exchange for a review. Another was when meeting new authors on the chat sites, offering to review their books if they would review mine.
There was a problem with that. Some of the books were pretty badly written, poorly edited, or contained subject matter and situations that offended me. I went to David St. John, the head of Elderberry Press at the time, with my dilemma. He advised me to tread very carefully because - and I quote - "no one wants to hear their baby is ugly."
How true. And that wisdom applies to many a situation, doesn't it? How do you tell a good friend you hate her expensive hair cut, it does nothing for her? What about the quilt you are given for a gift from the aunt who spent hours putting it together - but you don't like the colors and have no where to put it except in the blanket chest to use if company comes?
I've been on the receiving end of that, too, and not just in the world of book reviews. That position, along with David's response, reminded me to handle such situations very carefully.
Then there's my true story about a baby that was, well, not very cute? Years ago while dining with my husband and friends in a resort dining room, it came to light I had been the delivery nurse for the couple who owned it. In due course - during dessert, actually - the young mother woke up their little girl, age 5 months, and proudly brought her to our table for me to admire.
She was not a pretty baby - at all. Now maybe she was adorable later on, but at that time the poor little girl was one of the homeliest babies I had ever seen. In just a split second it was necessary to come up with a suitable compliment for the hovering parents. Somehow the good Lord gave me the words.
"Oh my, I cannot believe it! Look how she's grown! And two front teeth already!"
There were smiles, I held the baby for a few moments, and we exchanged information about the joys and challenges of parenting for the first time.
As soon as the three of them left the dining room I breathed a sigh of relief, and had to listen to the giggles of my sister-in-law, who found the whole thing terribly funny. For her, maybe.
It hurt my feelings when one of my books got a terrible review; but only at first. Then I learned to glean what wisdom I could from poor reviews, or if they were simply mean-spirited to ignore them. (And happily most of my reviews are good ones.)
To out and out lie has seemed my only option in only a few of the awkward moments life has thrown my way. There is usually something truthful and complimentary that fits the situation.
** As an aside to one of my challenges when looking for exposure for The Sally Nimitz mysteries, a Good Reads friends who resides in The Netherlands informed me Justice for Stacey is now available in her local retail setting. Which means, it should now be available for sale in e-book format almost everywhere.
I'm reminded of the time I reviewed a book written by an author with whom I was acquainted . . . and, knowing she was touchy, praised it rather more than I thought it deserved -- and still offended her because I only said it was good, not great. And also of the perennial dilemma I have with a relative whose gifts are always unwelcome and often inappropriate and even hurtful. So far, I have resisted the (sometimes overwhelming) temptation to be brutally honest, and instead I have written truthful thank-you notes that apparently please . . . like the time I noted that no one else would have thought to choose that gift for me.
ReplyDeleteOf course, some very good friends want a genuine evaluation of a new hairstyle or an expensive outfit. The trick is knowing who does not. And even those who do deserve some comfort along with the truth. A quick prayer to "let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be alway acceptable in thy, sight, O Lord" usually leads me to something kind to say.
Nice review on Smashwords -- better than Wordpress in my opinion. I am almost finished with Justice for Stacey and loving it. The dry humor is wonderful. I don't remember giggling as much with your other books. It is my most favorite Sally mystery yet. I sure do hope someone big discovers you!
ReplyDeleteThis morning you two remind me why I do this! The blog, that is.
ReplyDeleteCarole, you expounded so beautifully on the thoughts I first expressed, thank you. Like yourself,
may that prayer guide All the words out of my mouth, may that be my goal.
Linda, to learn to accept reviews that may not be what I hoped to hear is a step in maturity and wisdom, BUT to receive the compliment you paid me just now for my latest book is uplifting to my spirit and a wonderful way to begin my day. Thank you.
I love this!!! And it amazes me at how many times this very topic has landed in my lap.
ReplyDeleteI had actually gotten a nasty review by another author. I wasn't bothered that she didn't like the book. I was bothered by how she chose to express it. Like you said, we don't need to lie but we can look for something positive to point to in nearly all situations. Sadly this particular reviewer didn't point to anything positive. It left the entire book appearing as if it was unredeemable and unsuitable to all readers, when she could have pointed other readers to the book in a gracious way.
Either way, this has taught me a valuable lesson and given me such a passion about wanting to help authors see how their words can cut another author and how they can better tell the truth in a graceful way. It'll take a little while to gather my thoughts, but I plan to formally address this very situation with some helpful tips for authors looking for that nice thing to say about the ugly baby in their lap.
:) And your post just reminded me at how needed this really is.
Such a great perspective, and you came to such a healthy conclusion rather than choosing to stay offended. Good for you, A.M.
DeleteYou can learn more about A.M. and see her Christian fiction books on Good Reads.